Random Thoughts of an Admittedly Sleep-Deprived Mom

This is not a sleeping baby. This is a baby that should be sleeping but is enjoying tummy time, instead. While my not sleeping baby was on his tummy, I got to looking at his head. Why is it that the hair grows long in some places and almost not at all in others? When does this even out? And, more importantly, when do I stop noticing these things, so it evens out like it has in Middle Brother, and certainly Big Brother, without remark?

Big Brother is a teen and, as such, seems to enjoy less attention being paid. Middle Brother is still giving us firsts every day, so I do notice those. But I don’t sit in rapt attention to either of the elder brothers the way I was just now with Little Brother, and now that I’m aware of it, it makes me sad.

I am going to make an effort going forward to really look at all my boys. I want all three of them to feel as they grow into men that I really see them. I want to have really seen them become who they will be. Because, one day, my life will be mostly the three billion books and not so much the three boys, and I don’t want to feel like I missed out on any of it.

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